“Drunk text me. Text me when the music is loud and there are girls dancing around you and you’re not quite coherent and you’re not quite yourself. Drunk text me that you love me or that you miss me or that I’m on your mind. Let the alcohol tell me all the things you won’t say sober.”—(via trueheroinex)
It’s been two months since Gabriel and I broke up but the hardest part is accepting he’s no longer a part of my life. I like to think things got better in my life once he left, but I know that I miss him next to me at night, that I miss talking to him about my day, that I miss him terribly and for a very long time I know I won’t be able to see a trans am without feeling the desire to follow it in hopes of it being him, that I won’t be able to see a ketchup from whataburger without thinking of the time he found one in my car and said, “that’s why you’re my girlfriend.” A year shared with a person and oh how they can become your whole universe when you were aching to dismiss them. I hate that I miss him this much but the truth is I wasn’t made for relationships and he was toxic for me but the heart wants what it can’t have and mine is reluctant to let go because it wasn’t I who let go first. I’ll survive this, and every day is easier but I can’t wait until the day I can run into him in the street and smile, think of the past, and move past knowing I no longer cry missing him, knowing I’m better than ever, and moving past chapters of a book knowing the best part is yet to come.
“I know I probably don’t cross your mind much anymore but I hope someday you see something that reminds you of me and the things we use to spend hours talking about at night and then your throat gets tight and your heart skips a beat and you finally miss me back.”—I miss you so much (via havte)